What Are Sex Turn-Offs?
Sex turn-offs are what I call mood- killers while one is engaged in sex
with his or her partner. That is to say, they are things we do during
the act of sex that takes the fire out of one or both partners. You can
also call them fire extinguishers.
Just as a person can be turned on before sex, it is also possible for one to be turned off during sex. This makes a partner to lose steam or passion right in the middle of sex, thereby spoiling the fun or the day for the other partner.
This may be in word, or in action, that is, something said or done right in the act. So, we must learn how to avoid them to sustain the passion of sex.
I once heard the incident where a woman was watching a comedy show on the television during sex with her husband. Oh! What a disaster. This dealt a serious blow to her man’s ego and self esteem, thus making him to lose steam and sex confidence immediately.
As far as he was concerned, this was a failure on his part. He was simply not good in bed, otherwise, the wife would have been yelling and wriggling in ecstasy, if he was doing a good job on her. So let us learn to avoid such awkward things while in the act of sex. Such awkward things are as follows:
Wrong Or Offensive Utterance
This is about saying something you should not say while in bed. A common saying is that there is a time for everything; a right time to do a thing or utter a word. Uttering certain things during sex to one’s partner can really be a turn-off for him or her. For instance, it is wrong to say the following during sex: “I forgot my purse in the office”, “I should be visiting Aunty Joy tomorrow” “My secretary or my boss was telling me….” In simple words, avoid bringing up issues that are outside the context of lovemaking. They send a wrong signal to him or her that those issues mentioned are more important than him or her.
The lovemaking moment is one which a partner does not want to share with another thing or person. It should be all about him or her, otherwise you may spoil the fun. I remember an incident when a wife was telling her husband during dinner that the food served was her male colleague’s best food. The husband simply told her to take a portion to him right away. You can imagine what would be his reaction if the colleague’s name was mentioned in the bedroom.
To avoid saying something you should not say in the middle of sex with your partner, clear your mind before you get into bed. If you are thinking about someone or something other than him or her, it will show. So, relax and engage your whole being in the sex part of your romance with your partner.
Falling Asleep During Sex
Working on a demanding job could be quite energy-sapping for one; and combining it with marital responsibility can be sometimes overwhelming. Whenever you find yourself in such a moment, and you feel genuinely tired to have sex, make bold to speak out. It’s a lot better than killing your partner’s mood, or spoiling the fun in sex for him or her by sleeping off right in the middle of the act. It may send a wrong signal of infidelity on your part. Yawning and dozing are clear signals of tiredness; you should do all to avoid engaging in them while in bed with your partner. Good morning sex may be a right alternative in this instance for those working on demanding jobs. Do I hear you say, like bankers?
He Is Ready, But She Is Not
Another issue that is similar to the last one mentioned is when you are not in the mood, while he is in the mood for sex. If you are really not in the mood for sex, please say so before he gets really hot. Make it clear where you stand before “someone’s key goes into the door.” Why should you walk away when he needs you most? It’s certainly not the best time to turn him down when things are already hot and heavy. To him, there is no better time to hit the hot iron. As far as he is concerned, there is no stopping the horse at that point.
Unexpected Gas Release
The fun in sex may get spoilt when sudden “gas” is released, either silently or spectacularly by a partner. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that it does not matter; the ecstasy or the emotional moment will not stop him or her from noticing unexpected gas release. So, watch what you swallow before you get under the sheets with your partner. Avoid oily, fatty, or spicy food some hours before you go to bed. It will save you the embarrassment of sudden gas release during sex. You might be surprised at the kind of feedback you will get over unexpected gas release. Why spoil the fun and make a mess of something that should really add colour to your day?
Bad Body or Mouth Odour
Offensive breath or body odour could be a real turn-off in bed on the average. Only few persons will be able to, at best, tolerate such. Eating onions or garlic moments before sex may repel your partner during sex. So avoid such, or use breath mint or gum to neutralize the odour. Also, you should take advantage of a shower and a body fragrance before going to bed. It’s also a healthy habit to cultivate, sex or no sex. It leaves you refreshed after a hard day job. Most women don’t want their husband to smell anything but clean and fresh.
The Phone Rings
This is one distraction that should be avoided during sex by married couples. It is really a fire extinguisher to passion build up, and it may leave a partner emotionally traumatized. So, keep the phone in silent mode, if you cannot avoid the luxury of switching it off while you are in the act. It will enable you respond to your missed calls while you are engaged in a God-ordained marital act.
Not Taking Clues From Your Partner
Most women complain that their husbands don’t listen to advice, and this translates to the bedroom as well. Someone said, “perhaps it’s from the male ego, which tells them “I know it already” or “I know it better than she does.” Using your voice to direct your partner as to what gives you great passion during sex, is a sign of being a master at the game. So, when it is ignored by a partner, it could be a serious turn-off for him or her.
Giving Negative Feedback
In giving clues to your partner with reference to what turns you off or on, avoid giving him or her negative feedback. Never tell him or her “You are doing it the wrong way.” Rather tell him how you want him or her to handle you. That is, tell him/her how good it feels when he/she does it the way you want him to do it. Being positive in your reaction helps him/her to learn quickly without any hard feelings about what and how you say or do certain things during sex. I wish you better days of sex life ahead of you as you avoid these turn offs.
Just as a person can be turned on before sex, it is also possible for one to be turned off during sex. This makes a partner to lose steam or passion right in the middle of sex, thereby spoiling the fun or the day for the other partner.
This may be in word, or in action, that is, something said or done right in the act. So, we must learn how to avoid them to sustain the passion of sex.
I once heard the incident where a woman was watching a comedy show on the television during sex with her husband. Oh! What a disaster. This dealt a serious blow to her man’s ego and self esteem, thus making him to lose steam and sex confidence immediately.
As far as he was concerned, this was a failure on his part. He was simply not good in bed, otherwise, the wife would have been yelling and wriggling in ecstasy, if he was doing a good job on her. So let us learn to avoid such awkward things while in the act of sex. Such awkward things are as follows:
Wrong Or Offensive Utterance
This is about saying something you should not say while in bed. A common saying is that there is a time for everything; a right time to do a thing or utter a word. Uttering certain things during sex to one’s partner can really be a turn-off for him or her. For instance, it is wrong to say the following during sex: “I forgot my purse in the office”, “I should be visiting Aunty Joy tomorrow” “My secretary or my boss was telling me….” In simple words, avoid bringing up issues that are outside the context of lovemaking. They send a wrong signal to him or her that those issues mentioned are more important than him or her.
The lovemaking moment is one which a partner does not want to share with another thing or person. It should be all about him or her, otherwise you may spoil the fun. I remember an incident when a wife was telling her husband during dinner that the food served was her male colleague’s best food. The husband simply told her to take a portion to him right away. You can imagine what would be his reaction if the colleague’s name was mentioned in the bedroom.
To avoid saying something you should not say in the middle of sex with your partner, clear your mind before you get into bed. If you are thinking about someone or something other than him or her, it will show. So, relax and engage your whole being in the sex part of your romance with your partner.
Falling Asleep During Sex
Working on a demanding job could be quite energy-sapping for one; and combining it with marital responsibility can be sometimes overwhelming. Whenever you find yourself in such a moment, and you feel genuinely tired to have sex, make bold to speak out. It’s a lot better than killing your partner’s mood, or spoiling the fun in sex for him or her by sleeping off right in the middle of the act. It may send a wrong signal of infidelity on your part. Yawning and dozing are clear signals of tiredness; you should do all to avoid engaging in them while in bed with your partner. Good morning sex may be a right alternative in this instance for those working on demanding jobs. Do I hear you say, like bankers?
He Is Ready, But She Is Not
Another issue that is similar to the last one mentioned is when you are not in the mood, while he is in the mood for sex. If you are really not in the mood for sex, please say so before he gets really hot. Make it clear where you stand before “someone’s key goes into the door.” Why should you walk away when he needs you most? It’s certainly not the best time to turn him down when things are already hot and heavy. To him, there is no better time to hit the hot iron. As far as he is concerned, there is no stopping the horse at that point.
Unexpected Gas Release
The fun in sex may get spoilt when sudden “gas” is released, either silently or spectacularly by a partner. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that it does not matter; the ecstasy or the emotional moment will not stop him or her from noticing unexpected gas release. So, watch what you swallow before you get under the sheets with your partner. Avoid oily, fatty, or spicy food some hours before you go to bed. It will save you the embarrassment of sudden gas release during sex. You might be surprised at the kind of feedback you will get over unexpected gas release. Why spoil the fun and make a mess of something that should really add colour to your day?
Bad Body or Mouth Odour
Offensive breath or body odour could be a real turn-off in bed on the average. Only few persons will be able to, at best, tolerate such. Eating onions or garlic moments before sex may repel your partner during sex. So avoid such, or use breath mint or gum to neutralize the odour. Also, you should take advantage of a shower and a body fragrance before going to bed. It’s also a healthy habit to cultivate, sex or no sex. It leaves you refreshed after a hard day job. Most women don’t want their husband to smell anything but clean and fresh.
The Phone Rings
This is one distraction that should be avoided during sex by married couples. It is really a fire extinguisher to passion build up, and it may leave a partner emotionally traumatized. So, keep the phone in silent mode, if you cannot avoid the luxury of switching it off while you are in the act. It will enable you respond to your missed calls while you are engaged in a God-ordained marital act.
Not Taking Clues From Your Partner
Most women complain that their husbands don’t listen to advice, and this translates to the bedroom as well. Someone said, “perhaps it’s from the male ego, which tells them “I know it already” or “I know it better than she does.” Using your voice to direct your partner as to what gives you great passion during sex, is a sign of being a master at the game. So, when it is ignored by a partner, it could be a serious turn-off for him or her.
Giving Negative Feedback
In giving clues to your partner with reference to what turns you off or on, avoid giving him or her negative feedback. Never tell him or her “You are doing it the wrong way.” Rather tell him how you want him or her to handle you. That is, tell him/her how good it feels when he/she does it the way you want him to do it. Being positive in your reaction helps him/her to learn quickly without any hard feelings about what and how you say or do certain things during sex. I wish you better days of sex life ahead of you as you avoid these turn offs.
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